This things is actually really cool, but the masturbation connotations are too strong for me to resist. First it was pocket pool, then it was pocket hockey and now OH MY GOD- CINDY IS PLAYING POCKET DJ AGAIN! Now you can twist your little knobs and slide you little ‘crossfader’ by putting your hands in your pants (and pulling out this neat toy).

I don’t know what the quality of this thing is like, but the price is right. $25 is much less than the ‘diving dolphin’ and you won’t be embarrassed to use it with your friends in the same room. Unless you really suck at mixing.

find it at think geek

This guy wanted to paint the town red but he was all out of paint, so he tried to scribble the sky with giant crayons instead. Since these things only weigh in around a pound each, I think he may have forgot the wax. Besides, there’s no actual surface to write on up there… I know it’s true because there aren’t any ads painted in the sky.

The joke’s on him, because only half of his precious eight crayon rockets actually worked properly. The ones that worked made it to about the 3000 foot mark.

Meanwhile, all of this talk about crayons has set me adrift in memory bliss (wow, a P.M. Dawn reference? That’s obscure!), so I started popping the best prenatal vitamin I could find, thereby feeding my inner child. What do you mean they’re chewable Flintstones? Yabba Dabba D’oh!

Crayola Crayon Rockets Launched [craziest gadgets]

As if the old fashion plunger wasn’t good enough, someone has designed a plunger that pushes 25 pounds of pressure through your pipes. This reminds me of those blackhead removers, except maybe this version was meant for severe acne… but then they supersized it and decided it could be used to clear out stopped drains. Just a thought. It’s either that, or someone saw a super soaker and thought it would make a great plunger replacement. You know what also works great on stopped drains? Fireworks! Just don’t use them on your own toilet.

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While I give these guys kudos for thinking out of the box, I have to say that this design isn’t exactly a winning hand… like… ahem .. a royal flush. Yes, I think that this toy is about as crappy as that pun. I mean, what’s next, a transformer that turns into a blackhead extractor ? This is one time that I wish the designers would have stuck to a winning formula, because this design stinks!

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“They don’t make ‘em like they used to” isn’t a phrase that is often applied to computers. Computers are like Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends- the newer the better. This old school Commodore Vic-20 has been modified to tweet. I didn’t think that something this old could even be used to shop for sleeping pills .. well, it can’t but that’s beside the point. This old comp is rockin’ a 1 MHZ processor and 5KB of RAM. My computer is literally 3,000 times more powerful, and my wife’s computer is some 10k times more powerful. I didn’t even know that the vic-20 could get online… it’s software is stored on a cassette!

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I just love games that let you destroy your enemies… it’s even better when you get to unleash an onslaught by remotely commanding an army, all from the comfort of your living room… it’s just so passive-aggressive! Plus, it’s not violence unless you directly control a single character. Just ask the ladies who are always complaining about the GTA series.

What I really love is that you can download a few Command and Conquer games for free. This frees up my budget so that I can buy a few acne lotions … you know, cause I got so much candy for Valentines day. I’ve developed a theory that all holidays are either meant to kill us or give us diabetes. I consider October through December to be a seasonal ‘thinning of the heard’ so to speak. Though ‘fattening of the heard’ has a more literal meaning