So there we were, minding our own business when this dinosaur walks up and starts harassing us. He belched in our faces, but that wasn’t the end of it. He mooned the kids! There’s nothing more offensive than dinosaur butt in your face, so I tackled his ass. It turns out that it was just some guy in a foam suit. I’ve got to stop drinking in public.
For the drunk on the go, wine in a can provides a fresh glass of jesus juice anywhere you are. Just climbed to the top of a mountain? Jesus juice! Just met a hot 13 year old? Jesus juice! Just realized that you don’t want anyone to find out that you took a 13 year old to the top of a mountain and got her drunk so that you could have your way with her? Double jesus juice with a side of run like hell. Then more jesus juice.
Nothing says class like the sound of a tin can being opened. There isn’t a product available today that is sold in these cans, but the cans have been designed, and are ready for manufacturers to use if they so desire.
I can think of a few reasons that this would be a good product: single servings will always be fresh. And you can take them anywhere. Even to the top makeout mountain, or as the locals like to call it, the landfill. If you do decide to venture out to makeout mountain, make sure you don’t pass out there- the park rangers aren’t too keen on campers, and sometimes they aren’t paying any attention at all as to where they drive their soil compacters. Or maybe I’ve just worn out my welcome.
My favorite liqour store
Wine in a can, thanks to DVICE, who is far too professional to drink on the job.
Sometimes life is like a mop. When life gets dirty, you have to wring it out. Sometimes the grime is so sticky that you really have to get down on your knees and scrub that sonofabitch!
When cleaning metaphors stolen from Weird Al Movies won’t suffice, try screaming into a vase. Hell, why not- it looks like fun. Of course, it also looks like this guy is chugging wine, which is more my kind of fun.
This screaming vase is meant to reduce the sound of your screams so that your neighbors have no clue that you’re a raging psychopath on the verge of a katana-wielding rampage. Element of surprise and all that, you know?
Check out this illustration where it shows the sparklies that represent your repressed fury, and how they become a cute little blue balloon of uncomfortable silence. This illustration works for wine as well, only the sparklies don’t come out until after midnight, and I won’t be there to clean them up in the morning.
A toast to the gadget blog, who might just hold your hair next time you are barfing sparklies.
I'm crazy about technology... literally! Here at Pixel-Shack, you'll read about hot tech trends, zany gadgets, sweet rides and the occasional video game related tidbit.
